good things keep falling together

after birthday celebration, whats follow next is CHRISTMAS eve.
went to one utama with her of course. watched the movie name 'the muppets'
kinda funny, and kinda brings back the memories of my childhood.. haha funny eh?
well after that i expect dinner but she have to be home early to have dinner with her family.

during that day, things seems going fine but
there a few moment its very awkward... she seems extremely sleepy on that day.
i know she have done a lot of things in the past few day and cause her feel tired.
sometime its just make me feel rather that im the one who bored her or forcing her to a date.. but luckily at the end of the day its turns out to be fine..
thx for ur accompany my dear. :)
merry christmas dear~

well after christmas eve whats awaits me is the selection of my path once again.
which is exam. whether i can move to another stage of my life is depends on this exam. woke up at 6 in the morning, had dinner and fetch my brother to work. reached campus at 8am waited for loojian my classmate at oldtown..
that day is a day that i have drank most coffee in my life.
no choice i have to kept myself awake to revise for exam later on.
very nervous even till the moment i have complete my exam and passed up.
well i guess effort pays off.. every question in the exam i am able to done well
thats means what? i am leaving here and will be heading to setapak kl.

it has been my dream for the past three month. i have long awaited for it..
we finally can study together and see each other more already dear... :)
i can awaits it to come faster XD

but now there a series of event coming soon eh? countdown lets enjoy before university starts schooling oh yeah!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR~~!! WOOOHOOOO~

surprise, and a amazing day given by bii...

what pass has passed.
i guess i shouldn't bring the past emotion to my big day eh?
looks like understanding is a very important thing to have in a party.
the understanding she gave me are very convincing yet supporting.
i'm hereby to apologize to what i did before...
forgive me ya ;)

12/12/2011
my big day arrive!
my long awaited birthday~
last year i have make a wish
glad that it came true... :)
my wish is not to celebrate my own birthday alone anymore.
this year my dear(bii) has celebrated with me.
leaved house at 9am in the morning to fetch her and towards the time square.
however traffic jam occurs and i reach her house around 10.15 to pick her and 11 something when reached time square.

well quess what? i gets my present from our sultan selangor XD hahaha
just joking... :) its just lucky his birthday fall on a day before me and its on sunday so that replacement is made, holiday extended to monday which is my day.
hahah >< reached there walked around to shopping because she wanted to buy me a shirt as present. well i like it so much because its picked by her and no one has bought me shirt as a present before ;) you are the 1st :D
this is the 1st time i receive a present not from family or friend but is my dear...
the shirt was bought and i have worn immediately.
thx bii :)




thx for the present bii <3



does it looks okay?
omg i just like this shirt so much >< <3

then she say she hungry but who knows, there is something behind this lunch..><
purposely make me sit facing away from the entrance of the restaurant. Not too long here comes the surprise... he brought 2 of my best friends to join for our lunch meanwhile celebrating with us together... i never know she could hide all this things so well
but i like it ^^ she might think that its to simple for this kind of planning but i want to tell you... no matter how simple the surprise might be... if its was planned by her and she have tried.. i will give hundred mark for every one of it.. XD



thats me wishing XD



thx for coming to celebrating for me... ><



thx for the cake :)



LETS CUT CAKE! XD

after that, we wanted to go for movie but the movie we want to watch run out of ticket and time has gone off due to the lunch was spend too much time on it...
she look rather disappointed >< but i will never want to see her like this so lets change place because i believe we can watch this show if we never give up..
so we have gone to wangsa walk for it. Luckily the cinema there have plenty... PLENTY! i was wondering.. why time square full but not here... =.='
i guess this pays off my determination to watch that movie >< haha
after the movie have to send her back since she got meeting... haiz... it was never felt good whenever sending her home but the god is being fair to me where that night the weather stays clear... all these years every day of my birthday it has always rain but this year has not... maybe because of her eh? haha



the movie ticket... magic to win ><



lets go home =D
thanks for everything you have done... >,< love you so much.

寂寞

this 2 words means lonely..

yes which is what im trying to say in this post.

everyday wake up bath, sleep, study, play, surf net, watch tv, but all this can be change but there is 1 thing i cannot change till now.

what could it be? its 1 word called "wait"

everyday i been waiting.... waiting for someone special in my life..

but i wonder does she know that im waiting for her?

i hope so because my situation is like hanging on to a rope, hard to breathe, and the rope is tied by her... so tight.

its been 2 week we never seen each other. After the cold fight, situation turns more worst without her notice. im willing to give u anything and everything. all i need is just more concern from you. do you know? i just want some of your time.

do u wish to see me? do you miss me?

i put u at my 1st place... but are you?

i need you but do you need me?

this 2 week i felt neglected. i even felt im not important to you anymore.

i surrender. you win.

is loving you making me as a loser.

if im became a loser for you would you stay by my side forever?

if like this.. im willing. :'(

please stop making things like im not important anymore. please.

25th november 2011

today woked up in the morning baring the feeling of sadness from last wednesday

once go to living room i get to heard my mothers complain again.

instantly i feel so sick that feel like just scold her shut up once and for all.

but i didn. i have no choice but to listen and just act nothing.

starting to realise not everything is within my hand to be control by me.

therefore, i remain silence and just went back to my room. hide in the room and watch drama the whole day.

but knewing her went out to play. i just felt very bored. worry but cant show out

the more she call me dun worry i get even more worry.

sometime feel like scolding u one time. somehow i dun want tell u or scold you

instead i wan u to realise this matter. hope you will soon bii.

confrontation.

wednesday 23 november 2011

today is the day that change my life once and for all.

have a conversation with my father..

he see me like moody for a few months already..

and force me to say out actually what is my problem?

so long i have endure and kept all the things to myself i have spilt out all

everything i dislike, every problem, every request..

all i have say out..

talked for hours.... and finally came to a conclusion.. which i can do what i want

and i decide my own life. because of this i can finally relieve a bit.

at least i got my father support and what i left is my mother side.

i hope i get to hold her hand, hug her, kiss her infront of my family.

i wish it came as fast as possible because im tired of hiding and lie.

but on that day. i have not eaten a single thing..

i could not find the appetite to eat anymore.

bii~ on the same day we both get sad... but i get more sad because of you :(

because u dunno what has really happen and take things joking.

and because of this also i cannot blame u completely..

just want you to realise i have gone through a really hard day for you and me...

hope u understand..

do you know?

everything seems fine when u away... theres nothing i can or i could do.

you told me not to worry so much. okay i try to do that so i played games.

when u came back, u called me bii...

i feel so soft when i see this, answered u.... but scold me out of the blue.

asked u why? but u dun wan say.. do you know? i was in the middle of a game?

i totally gave up in that game when i see ur sentence

i lose because of you... but i dun blame u.. because im always ready to give up anything for you... and i happy that i lose so that i can finally stop

playing the game. share to you.. got scolded... bii... on that moment i dunno what u thinking anymore. the more i ask you.. the slower u reply makes me feel more frustrated.

i just cant get it... :(

i just want you to know u always have my full attention... i just want ur as well not all the time.... can u give me yours...?

:(

20th of November.

went back to my hometown in the morning with my family

except my father and eldest bro...

have our breakfast instant.. somehow this breakfast will never be a normal

breakfast for we alll every time we are here.

why? haha because the dumpling we will order like nobody's matter

cant get this? in short we ordered 200 piece of dumpling~ for 5 of us...

sounds crazy buts its true @@

50 piece per bowl @@ haha

and this is how 50 piece dumpling in a bowl looks like

but guess what is only cost rm 30 for 200 piece haha where to find u tell me~

other than this we have other purpose la of course... which is

for my little nephew new born dinner~

haha whenever i thing of this.... i still cant believe i have become an uncle to them in

family status... omg... time flew by fast.. the time i know i have become an uncle to them is

when im 14 years old... and now i am 19... :) now they are big but this year

im have become their uncle back.

well this is she~ she is small but she was cute ><

sorry for not taking more picture of her... haiz kinda regret now :(

it may be a good day for everyone but not for someone i guess. sigh*

well its a bad day for my 4th bro...

kinda pity him now think back....

well guess why he so sad?

well its because he receive a call and telling him that his car is hitted by someone.

and the worst is, its happen when he is not around... :(

oh well~ the story goes like this

my eldest bro took the car without his permission and crash..

anything taken without permission is consider as steal eh? well i guess u can put it

that way.... dunno what to say eh? so do he...

at the end he kept scolding till we reach home...

there is nothing he can do now...

it already happen.

take 1#

take 2#

take 3#

although this happen. i gone through an interesting night too..

which is i drive home that night.

gone through the taste of driving through countryside road, uphill and downhill, and highway
in 1 night panic and interesting ^^

the distance is 150km ++

its a good experience i can say.. ><

but i wonder... if i kena road block then im done ;)

haha because i drove without sticking P sticker in the car...

but its not the 1st time of course XD heheh

and i guess thats all for today.... haha

its a long day :D

lovely~~

the sad has passed ^^

all have been solved.

now i feel that we are stronger now :)

lets keep it this way forever <3

this pass 10 days i feel like it went so fast ><

passed up assignment 1 and now going to pass up assignment 2 too..

thx my dear for filling the rest of my time making me feel occupy all the time :)

love u so much...

went a lot of place recently... of course i have went a lot of place before

but not on public transport ^^

learned a lot way to go many place. haha felt that i can go anywhere anytime :)

no one can stop me especially when going to meet my dear ><.

although 11/11/11

we went out, but cant get to see the movie we planned for...

still i always felt good whenever she around :)

now i do is waiting... waiting for something interesting ^^ coming up.

praying ><

quotes...

hanged around facebook recently.... saw some quotes

and found that.. some of them are really quite true...

as like...

even though i act nothing happen... but its actually hurt deep in the heart.

starting to feel it badly...

just that my case is abit different. i hurt even nothing happen....

what is this? i dun get it..

or i should say i dun get myself edi...

gloomy day....

saturday.. woke up in the morning and on-ed my laptop instant.. look around

and noticed my blog has been seen by someone...

then i wonder if she is the one who saw it?.. im felt very scared... i wonder would the last post affect her studying mood? she got another quiz today....

never expect that... she have seen it so early... everything i wrote inside this blog is for her,..

im not afraid she will read this... because its always from the bottom of my heart, my feel for her...

i purposely post it up in midnight is because i know she will see that when she got home from her

daily classes... thats mean she can take her quiz with no worry without knowing my feel for that day yet... but it doesn't turn out to what i expect...

sorry darl... i should have post it today rather than on friday..

i felt very bad if i really affect ur study mood for your quiz... so sorry :(

although everything has been cleared and settled but

today we dun get to chat much... maybe its my bad,..

i hope tomorrow will be fine...

P.S rest more ba darl.. hearing u cough always hurt my heart,,, i will always pray for you too stay healthy.... Love You Darl... Always do.

5th of november

at 7pm walked to sushi king at jaya one from asiajaya.

the distance is short but i felt it is so long...

i keep asked why i like walked forever but still cant reach

there yet... the more i asked... i felt my eyes getting wet...

and then i only know why...

today happened a lot of stuff... its hurt but i just cant say it out.. :(

i notice, that i almost cry for a few time today, firstly, in the bus, then at lrt

then on the way to sushi king as i mention just now

and finally in my own bed writing this blog :(

am i such a crybaby? hahah i feel i am...

at the bus i felt like crying is because when i asked her through the phone.

i asked "do you feel better today"

and she answered "no"

thats when my tears are starting flowing out...

i was so angry.. why is she sick and yet she must come out..

i dun get it!.. if she wan i can bring her go anytime anywhere as long she is recover

and healthy... okay fine this time.. i wanted to see how is she also...

although i can let the 1st go... but who knows?

in the evening... we played pool... at 1st was fun even though i kept losing...

then here comes the bad news... she receive news that she will having her 2nd quiz tomorrow.

then i was like... okay~

then she and my fren.... keep revising.. suddenly i felt i lost the power to speak to follow up,

or even help out... i felt they live 1000miles away even they are just in front of me.

if i had not made the wrong decision this will not happen. there is 1 moment i felt like just throw the cue, just grab my stuff and went off just like that... really really want to...

its like a humiliation to me... a real hurting my heart type HUMILIATION!

at the end i just endure and hold back my tears.

the third time is when i walked alone in the dark... and when i think back. tears just flow naturally.

when its all the emotion comes and cramped in together it make me felt like just jump out to the road and let the car crush me.

lastly is when i writing this blog... before i write this blog i logged in her account..

watched some of her comment... and i shouldn't watch her chat box but i did... well theres a guy.... maybe i think too much... this guy recently talks to her a lot... in short im jealous, im afraid... other than this i saw something else too but i dun want to conclude this until i confirmed it myself.... before this she says this kind of similar things to me before... i thought i will not have this kind of feeling but what goes around really comes around...

after all this i felt im such a selfish bastard... am i even a good boyfriend?

sometime i get too emotion or even too narrow minded..

im such a good for nothing guy... i even so selfish that i thought of locking her away...

but i cant do that. now i just can keep it under my heart and let it pass.

ALWAYS TAP MY OWN SHOULDER AND TELL MYSELF JUST TRY YOUR BEST.

this 3 days

this 3 day.. i slept at 4 o'clock every night.

of course not alone.... i spend most of the time for her...

its worth it... we talk about many things, and our true feelings too

i laughed and cried at the same time...

i laughed because i know she cared for me although she not often

show it in normal life. i cried because she has moved my heart.

and because of this i give you full mark <3

im waiting for this of day for so long.. and it finally happen.

i always wish we can open up our heart, and so speak out..^^

darl~ i hope u can always do that to me and dun be shy, because it will always

between two of us... no one else will know. hehe.

keep it up darl and i will do the same too.

you will always be the important one in my heart... <3

and 1 more thing~ im always yours ;)

I LOVE YOU Muackz :-*

BIG DAYS~!

finally it has reach the day i have long awaited for.....

her birthday...

woke up at 11 and begin preparation.... called people the whole morning just to make sure everything is in place :)

very excited.. dunno what she will act when she see all the things i plan for her

the whole morning been wondering.... :D

leave house at 3 something... rush to pick her up but trafiic like haiz :(

its ok~ pick her up at 4 something..... and went to bukit raja jusco to hang around since

we are ahead of schedule planned... so fortunate when we arrive it has a organ contest going on at that place.... enjoyed listening music and her favourite music of course... nice

leave jusco around 645pm and head to the venue I-CITY

but guess what.. i lost on the way to there.... but with her around its fun :) haha

reached there at 7 something and met wei qing on the elevator on the parking bay.. so accurate haha

gathered at oldtown white coffee cafe for the rest and moved to gasoline restaurant together.

meanwhile waiting for my cake to arrive... XD thx to nic so much

then have dinner.. and some chit chat. For one moment i felt so warm..

feel like gathering and celebrating at the same time... very gandong T_T

then actings comes in act like nothing for her and gift her a candle cake and close her eyes

then ta da..... a doraemon cake... seeing her cry for a min.... she is so..... nice... at this one moment i felt she is so small in my eyes and i can felt her true self.. :)

<3 lovely!

love you muackz <3

happy birthday my dear...

my queen XD

but second part kinda fail due to weather prob and location miscalculation.... :(

still the gift were able to send off at the end.. hope she like it..

after all that walked around and took picture... she is so beautiful that night... if normal day she already counted as beautiful to me then that day she was gorgeous...

all headed home at 11pm and i reached home at 1 sharp because got to send my queen home... haha...

thats our day~~ love this day forever <3

feedback

this 2 week i have receive feedback non stop..

some for the event.... some for other person, and of course some for me too.... :(

as for the event...
some say i good in thinking things, some say very "over", some say not worth it,

and of course some say not good enough...
that is not very important because i only care for one person in this...
as long as she happy.. wo fen shen sui gu yiu ru he?

as for person...
i cannot say much because different people have their perspective in looking on

other people. i can only listen and forget... if its necessary.

as for me...
her her her....
laughing and crying at the same time when i heard all those.
there is something i dunno whether should tell you or not..
but i dun think now the time to tell you.
lets wait ba~

darling~

yesterday i unable to sleep well..

she has finally started her

degree class. she seems busy throughout the week.

looking at her timetable, +working timetable, im really worried :(

especially this few month would be predicted that it will keep raining

till year end.. what i worry about is.. im worry that she will fall a sick due to

tiredness. which i dun want it happen at all.

darling~ ni zhi dao ma? mei tian kan jian ni na me lei...

wo de xin hao bu an...

ke shi kai bu liao kou rang ni zhi dao..

wo bu xiang ni bu kai xing.

promise me that u must really really take good care

of yourself when i not around....ok? XS

whenever u need me... i will be there for you ...

must let me know.

love you darling. :-*

love for her

specially for you :-* my darl~

this month there will be a big thing going on....

its tooks me weeks to create and carry out the plan... :)

in the middle of the plan, problem appears like the wave

from the ocean. its never stop and cant be stop.
feel like to giving up... but i didn at the end...

because i know just keep walking i will find something

that i wish for :)

guess what i did founded.... i founded that i have friends

who willing help me carry out the whole thing.

thank you guys so much for helping me out

you have my greatest gratitude from the bottom of my heart.

THANK YOU GUYS!

now all that i have to do is wait.. and u too my <3 one ><
hope u like it XD

pleasure...

monday is our weekly dating. :)

but soon it will be change to thursday :)

right after class end and done my appointment. i moved to times square just to meet up her.:)

but who knows what awaits me is a warrant letter @@

i was like what the...... haiz but no choice it has given and i have no choice but to except

it:(

despite the fact and just head there....

reached there(times square), walked and waited for hours @@

until i unable to walk and sat on a couch to keep waiting.

they reached at two something...

then straight head to sushi king for their sushi bonanza event. Most important is to

fill our stomach 1st because we have ate nothing back in the morning.

eat and eated plates of sushi and finally had enough of it.

one word.... satisfy!~~

after lunch its time for some sport ^^

went to play bowling and i score 80 marks although cq won at last

but so far i have play i have show improvement

from 13 mark to 34 and too 67 and to 80... haha

maybe if i keep playing i might can join for competition.

but i always keep something in mind

which is I THINK TOO MUCH.

in the middle of the game. i have send her a song... as a dating gift..

although its not much but as long as she like it then it will be fine for me :)

i love to see her smiling... when listen to the song she shock and laughed...

the look in her face i can still remember clearly till now..

with this i know i didn't waste my effort for staying up late just to find

out that song for her. <3

perhaps the smile she gave me is the best gift, the god grant me just to make up for the warrant letter :)

in that case if she everyday can laugh like that... warrant is nothing to me anymore just give me and i just wanted to see her laugh like what she did today... ^^

by the way the traffic today is very awful :'(

its not important anymore as long as i get to see her~ hehe

below here is the song ^^ enjoy~

today.

received her message this morning..

she woke me up but instead of angry i smiled :)

i love someone i care so much that will wake me up in the morning.

i just dunno why.

so i went to tell her about this but it doesn't seem that turns

out to be what i expected. she seems dislike it maybe she got her own

reason that i dunno. starting to realize im to stupid to try and find out.

im so dumb... im such dumb bastard.

day by day....

day and day has passed. somehow the day flew by not too fast and not too slow.

sigh* recently listening to the fm. they give some tips on caring, saying that no matter how busy you are... u must not neglect ur parent. i very agreed to what they say. so i always spend some of my time to listen to them its just feel so good :)

about me, im very good this few day.:) so glad.

but 1 thing feel very uneasy is my darling... i could never stop worry and caring for her even a single second or minute. Well she got a job and working everyday except saturday and sunday:/

its good that she found something to do rather than sitting at home and rot

but everyday see her working from morning till night and the voice she gave sound very worn and full of tiredness....

just listen to her voice my heart is like scratching with sand paper.

wanted to call her leave the job but once again i thought, if she like the job i will support her fully.

even though i might bear those pain alone. this is because if i dun support her who else will :)

seeing her happy, no matter what happen to me it doesn't matter anymore.

P.s recently she has just become alot more cuter i found that~~ :-*

keep the way u are darl.

tian tang

tian tang, as known as heaven.

where is this? i believe everyone want to find this place so much.

why they want to look for this so much? they believe this place will not

exist pain, sorrow, and unhappiness.

i believe i find my heaven already.

because of your existent i have found this heaven. :)

in this heaven i have found love, importance of certain stuff, and of course

it has unlimited happiness.

furthermore, u must know this heaven exist when there is you.

all i ever wanted just to stay with you even without doing anything or having anything. :)

she is the one.

after all that i have hide my feeling so well

that no other one can detect my real feeling..

suddenly she asked me whether im sad or not?

out of the blue... shock me awhile but i told the truth.

after the conversation, i notice i just cant sigh* anymore.

from this i always told myself. after the wrong decision i have made,

i finally made a right decision which is... loved her and missed her... everyday.

my worries~

what past has passed.

thought it has come to at end.

but its just my naive thought.

i thought and i thought and i thought.

soon i realize no matter i think how much

or how long or how much effort

i put into it i just cant figure it out.

looks like i still cant accept the fact.

its been so long why i still cant drop it.

looked at facebook for some picture

stated that how and what u can do when problem occur.

i wished that i could be like it which end with no worries...

but i know its just impossible.

every time i see their comment about ****** i would become mad instant.

my hearts cry so loud that it could just make me hang myself if i got a rope with me.

i feel so tired... really tired..

can please dun let me see what i try to avoid so much all this time?

please dun force me to carry out the step of no return.

i will shut the **** thing down. Please dun! please.

addition..

if u have read the past of my last blog.

i just want you to understand why am i doing so.

i have no intention of locking you.

my wish are simple. that post is just to tell you.. not complaining.

hope you understand me my darl~

my love is always with you. :)

it will never change.

bitters become bitterest...

after all that happen, thought things have return to normal.

who expect that something followed next. i know she wanted to sleep.

before she sleep, and i haven bath. so naturally she would call me go as usual

but i resisted by just wanted her to sleep 1st.

at the end its turns out to be complicated situation.

she says i feel like being locked by you.

this is the second time she told me this

and frankly i hate it so so so so MUCH! its really breaks my heart my mental.

the 1st time i would accept it because i felt i really over-ed but this time i really feel sad

i really cant accept this as the 2nd time. somehow i just cant find any reason to blame her.

i could never mad at her.....

the reason i wanted to do so is just because i want to wish her good night only. if i go to bath and she sleep that time i would have miss it. just for this simple reason this simple wish u conclude me as locking you? its really hurts so much when she say this. i mean nothing else. why are u saying this?. all i ever wanted is just wishing u good night everyday. is this too much? its becoming part of my life. are you don't like me doing this? i can stop if u want, just tell me, then i will understand.....

i really cant get it :(

but i wont blame you because.... i just knew i could'n do it.

so i will keep it to myself.

sorry if i stressed you.

sweet and bitter day.

2nd October 2011,

lovely day,

weather is so so.

today i have went to bukit tinggi jusco at klang.

meet her up at oldtown whitecoffee cafe, at 12 pm in the afternoon.

then walk around and finally bring her to what she been desired for...

to eat the "bak kut teh". there 4 of us. seems very sweet at the moment.

but what follow next is bitter part.

After lunch, plan what to do next. we plan to watch movie so we went back

to jusco. when we was there i line up is like half way there and she say

i dun feel like watching. i dunno why but i just cant suppress my feeling anymore

so i showed an annoyed face out of sudden.

she have it as well but she apologize 1st.

of course followed by me. things seem normal back then.

well if she say she wan head home straight i would

agreed after all i care for her so much and i known she been very tired at that time.

then i would not made a ruckus by this little thing.

after dropping her at the lrt station, and went home straight

on the way home try to give her a call but turn up no answering.

called and call again still no answer.

my heart started to hang up whether is she really still angry for what i did?

at the end sended her a message begging her to answered and make a final call

and she only answered. never expect it turn out to be she fall asleep in the train...

scared me like hell..

pls dun let this happen again...

i will die wan.

aiyo....

without any notice... i have bear this imsonia almost for a month.

until now i haven find out what really cause me to be unable to sleep.

do i really need to get some pill for me to sleep?

is it possible i wont be able to get any sleep until the end of this semester.

but its week 2 right now i still have 12 week bear.

when it could be only end.

yesterday, which is wednesday.

i have a marathon class from 2-5pm in a day.

the class was boring... until i can fall asleep with my eyes open.

until lecture class break i finally can take a nap for 5 min.

after this 5 min i feel like just continue to sleep until class end but somethings

come in mind. i dream of her, then i think if i sleep now i will fail my paper.

i instant awake and continue study.

then under the circumstance of just awake.

i saw someone back really looks like her.

i panic for quite awhile but think again its just an illusion.

i must not fail in this semester just for her and for me.:)

i dun belong pj anymore. i belong to setapak....

wait for me... my darling.

我真的希望你在我身旁，我很想你。

26 / 8/ 10 / 32

this few number has somehow taken a important place deep in my heart.

today is 26th september.

felt like every repeat of this number always will encourage me to take another step forward.

why i say so?

because last month, on this day, 26th august. i proposed.

In a blink of eyes it has passed one month.

but this month i didn do much but i get to explore someplace.

its scary back then because after all im driving alone towards city center

which if i am being look from above the sky, i may just look like an ant trying to go through and explore, meanwhile trying to reach the place we have plan to meet.

took me a night to overcome my fear. :)

at the end, i able to made it through. so glad :)

and of course i made it back home as well.

now that bts is nothing to me anymore because i has been there once and it will never be a foreign place to me anymore .:)

finally what i really enjoy for this time is during the time with her. i believe it will never change.

but there something we miss out, such a waste.

boring day :(

slept at 2 woke up at 7 something and roll on the bed till 12. Zzzz

but glad that i have some sleep this time.:)

called her as soon as i woke up, i know she will be busy for the whole day, yesterday.

all i could do is wait. i wait and i waited.

then i realised actually every life, every person was destined to wait.

some waited for something, waiting for live, waiting to die, and so forth.

then question came what am i waiting for?

i answered, waiting for her to come home safely.

bao bei

today stay at home whole day.... starting to recall some sweet moment of us^^
u asked me before, why i get fond of you so much?
i answered i like everything of you..
you may thought i'm kidding but i really mean it. :)

as time goes by, u get thinner, so i call you to eat more.
then u replied no i scare i will be fat.
later on, i started a joke but i dun mean it at all
i dunno whether you still remember about it and
are you affected by it or not?
but i hope its not.

telling u so much about all this is because
i wanted you to know i like u not because of your physical look.
no matter u become how your looks like fat or thin? i will always love you.. <3
okay? :)

when i see you, your appearance just look thinner every time.
when u getting thinner every day, i feel like being struck by lightning
to my heart...
so please be healthy when i not around....
if u grew meat.. at least i know u are healthy.
otherwise.... :( i just become more sad.

P.s. dun be afraid of troubling me. i will always standby for you always :) so if there anything please find me. i be awake for you no matter what time....
Love ya :-* <3

start of another day,

morning~
as it turn out to be i have woke up early as usual.
oh gosh, im getting used to it. since it wanted me to wake up so
early, fine lets be it.

somehow, i feel much more happier today.
although im still not able to dream of something as well these few day
a dream without a dream is terrible. Zzz

if people say a dream may forecast a person's future.
then i wonder where is my future? did my future just gone like that?
or its telling me to create my own future. if that the case i would really like to
create it along with her. :) <3

today..

history has repeated itself once again....
i woke up in a time that i would normally sleeping like a dying person.
what the hell is wrong with me?
GOD!~ for my sake please grant me to have enough sleep, can u?

every day thought that when i sleep late or overwork till i faint
will force me to have enough sleep.. but result just turn out as they use to be.
WALAOEH!!!!

yesterday night, while chatting with my bao bei, i fall asleep at the end.
or it can rather say this way that i have been black out...
woke up at 730 in the morning as i able to recall i fall asleep at 230 midnight.
haiz.
but later on i found that it is not important that i able to sleep or not.
but the whole morning i been wondering if she is waiting my reply that time.

i feel so guilty. :(
sended a message to her to apologize but receive a message from maxis
telling me message is not send due to his/her phone has switch off.
its make me even more panic and guilty is she mad at me for going off
never telling good bye? i dun wish it happen that way dear.

i promise u there would be no next time. please forgive me if u are mad ok?
give me a call if u saw this...

recently.

its been five day and 4 night since i have back from the trip as i mention before.
i have never been able to get back my appetite to eat, play and sleep well from the day i returned. it is so frustrating.
i hope it will become normal very soon. :(

well, today is consider a good day for me after this few day i have gone through. why eh? maybe
is because i get see her. :) she really brighten up my day every time. <3 we have gone for a movie. nasi lemak 2.0. its a good show. humorous, comedy and alot more. during the movie when she sitting beside me, holding up my hand. i feel energetic :) sound like funny but it is true that i'm like a battery that run out of energy and needs to be recharge. haha. i just love her so much.

 although it may not last long, that i have to send her to lrt station after the movie so that she could go home.;( but the time when i with her i never forget every second for the moment i with her. i just treasure it so much. quite depressing when she leave but i realize something on the way home. i don't know whether is she brings me luck or happiness? i feel the traffic were so smooth. normally would jam an hour at that time. with this, i able to travel back to my home safely and soundly. after bath, sitting in front of my laptop. i saw my ring that i abandoned long time ago and i start wearing back. i will take this ring as a reminder to work hard and back to her side as soon in this 3 month.

this is how it look like~:)

P.S. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE AND MISS YOU MY DARLING.... <3

qin ai de.

qin ai de today the 1st day start class at campus. i saw a lot of ur shadow, our memories. once again tears is almost flew out edi. is it that i miss u too much until i saw every people i can see ur face on them.. haiz.

i feel so weak darling. can teach me what to do? today the 1st day i already miss you like that. what to say about 3 month. WAKAO~

music...

music. today listened quite a lot of songs. music are such amazing.
people say, when words is not enough to speak out something in ur heart, music will help u speak out. other than this, i found that music not only can do that. it can brings out a person internal feeling from deep below their heart, memories, and mind too. today on the way home, i listened a song played by one fm. the song name is 'meiyou ni zenme ban' in english is what should i do if without u.



at 1st when i listening my tears almost flew out of no reason.
but i surpressed it because i were driving....
then when i home i found back this song and i saw the music video and finally realised
why i got the feeling to cry.:( i wonder would i be able to survive if i leave home.

dad~

do you know something? your words are important to me.
but sometime ur words is just too harsh as well. :(
yes i understand u mean good to me. but can u leave
some space for me to repent. i always try to do as how u wish.. but sometime
its just will not work the way it plan to be....:(

time to pay the price.

its less than 24 hour to begin my suffer once again.
before this campus was fun. some of it says that its hell.
and i just say why hell? subject is easy..
at the end get scolded without knowing the reason.

but now i realize, it is~ a HELL.
i felt grudge, hatred, angry, and sad towards the damn place. can someone just kill me?
but think of her i will not give up so easily.
i must think that its fun. manipulate my fear and anger into the final subject and give it a final blow and then i will never back to the campus once more. i swear on it.

god if u can hear me. i never ask you things always.. so please grant me this wish. i wanted the following three months pass in a blink of eye pls.
so that i can be together with her real soon. thx god and pls bless her thats all i asked.

semester 4 breaks

semester 4 break. i manage to host a small group to go on vacation to genting.
2d 1n. its seems short but its long in my heart.

this trip. i see a lot of things. things from her.
i get to see her sleepy faces.
somehow i feel very warm when she around. :)
especially there's a time she hold my hand when i sleeping. i feel that
and so do i hold back. with that warm hands of her. i realizes that problem are means nothing anymore to me.

during sleeping. i have say i love u so much. although she cant listened. <3
but i hope she feel it.

the 1st date..

thinks back its just so sweet.
the place it midvalley. i dun really like that place until this.
love is so amazing that it make me change 36o degrees and get fond of that place..

at there, we walk around holding hands, joke around, and of course the 1st movie we watch together.. fd 5!! its suppose to be horror but i find it funny instead. hahahah
watching her got scare i will laugh automatically.

soon after that i have to send her back already. feel heavy to let go her hands from me..

26th of august

this number have become very important date to me starting this year.
this date carries a lot memories i shall never ever forget.
this date i propose to her and she become my girlfriend <3. this date i pick so randomly that in the next 2 month and the same 26 is her birthday date..
i recognize it a few day later..

talk about it, i have to prepare for it soon. it has to be unique and different from others. this matter stretch my head for quite a time but i think i have the idea already. :) all that i hope now is she will like it. heheh. Give u all a little hints.
the gift will be using the concept of.... ' a tiny little present, but give infinity value to her and me'. XD
exactly what is it. stay follow to reveal.. heheh

the 1st after the renewal of my past blog

Its been a year long, i have not written any post.
many things have changes. There are good and bad of course.
greatest is i got myself into relationship. This is the best sweet thing ever happen in my life and i swear on it. For her i willing to go so far even i myself unable to believe what i have done... i just love her so much. hehe ^^
She is my 1st and she will be the only one in my life, if she willing to be.:)

other than this, so long in my life i have been living in.
I never regret before in making any choice.
but this time i done a great one, a real great one. consequence of this, it brings me pain, sadness and uncertain that is so great that unable me to hold tears.
although its just 3 month i have to pay the price. Somehow i always feel this 3 month is like 3 season long for me. :(

hope it goes faster~