this 3 days

this 3 day.. i slept at 4 o'clock every night.

of course not alone.... i spend most of the time for her...

its worth it... we talk about many things, and our true feelings too

i laughed and cried at the same time...

i laughed because i know she cared for me although she not often

show it in normal life. i cried because she has moved my heart.

and because of this i give you full mark <3

im waiting for this of day for so long.. and it finally happen.

i always wish we can open up our heart, and so speak out..^^

darl~ i hope u can always do that to me and dun be shy, because it will always

between two of us... no one else will know. hehe.

keep it up darl and i will do the same too.

you will always be the important one in my heart... <3

and 1 more thing~ im always yours ;)

I LOVE YOU Muackz :-*

BIG DAYS~!

finally it has reach the day i have long awaited for.....

her birthday...

woke up at 11 and begin preparation.... called people the whole morning just to make sure everything is in place :)

very excited.. dunno what she will act when she see all the things i plan for her

the whole morning been wondering.... :D

leave house at 3 something... rush to pick her up but trafiic like haiz :(

its ok~ pick her up at 4 something..... and went to bukit raja jusco to hang around since

we are ahead of schedule planned... so fortunate when we arrive it has a organ contest going on at that place.... enjoyed listening music and her favourite music of course... nice

leave jusco around 645pm and head to the venue I-CITY

but guess what.. i lost on the way to there.... but with her around its fun :) haha

reached there at 7 something and met wei qing on the elevator on the parking bay.. so accurate haha

gathered at oldtown white coffee cafe for the rest and moved to gasoline restaurant together.

meanwhile waiting for my cake to arrive... XD thx to nic so much

then have dinner.. and some chit chat. For one moment i felt so warm..

feel like gathering and celebrating at the same time... very gandong T_T

then actings comes in act like nothing for her and gift her a candle cake and close her eyes

then ta da..... a doraemon cake... seeing her cry for a min.... she is so..... nice... at this one moment i felt she is so small in my eyes and i can felt her true self.. :)

<3 lovely!

love you muackz <3

happy birthday my dear...

my queen XD

but second part kinda fail due to weather prob and location miscalculation.... :(

still the gift were able to send off at the end.. hope she like it..

after all that walked around and took picture... she is so beautiful that night... if normal day she already counted as beautiful to me then that day she was gorgeous...

all headed home at 11pm and i reached home at 1 sharp because got to send my queen home... haha...

thats our day~~ love this day forever <3

feedback

this 2 week i have receive feedback non stop..

some for the event.... some for other person, and of course some for me too.... :(

as for the event...
some say i good in thinking things, some say very "over", some say not worth it,

and of course some say not good enough...
that is not very important because i only care for one person in this...
as long as she happy.. wo fen shen sui gu yiu ru he?

as for person...
i cannot say much because different people have their perspective in looking on

other people. i can only listen and forget... if its necessary.

as for me...
her her her....
laughing and crying at the same time when i heard all those.
there is something i dunno whether should tell you or not..
but i dun think now the time to tell you.
lets wait ba~

darling~

yesterday i unable to sleep well..

she has finally started her

degree class. she seems busy throughout the week.

looking at her timetable, +working timetable, im really worried :(

especially this few month would be predicted that it will keep raining

till year end.. what i worry about is.. im worry that she will fall a sick due to

tiredness. which i dun want it happen at all.

darling~ ni zhi dao ma? mei tian kan jian ni na me lei...

wo de xin hao bu an...

ke shi kai bu liao kou rang ni zhi dao..

wo bu xiang ni bu kai xing.

promise me that u must really really take good care

of yourself when i not around....ok? XS

whenever u need me... i will be there for you ...

must let me know.

love you darling. :-*

love for her

specially for you :-* my darl~

this month there will be a big thing going on....

its tooks me weeks to create and carry out the plan... :)

in the middle of the plan, problem appears like the wave

from the ocean. its never stop and cant be stop.
feel like to giving up... but i didn at the end...

because i know just keep walking i will find something

that i wish for :)

guess what i did founded.... i founded that i have friends

who willing help me carry out the whole thing.

thank you guys so much for helping me out

you have my greatest gratitude from the bottom of my heart.

THANK YOU GUYS!

now all that i have to do is wait.. and u too my <3 one ><
hope u like it XD

pleasure...

monday is our weekly dating. :)

but soon it will be change to thursday :)

right after class end and done my appointment. i moved to times square just to meet up her.:)

but who knows what awaits me is a warrant letter @@

i was like what the...... haiz but no choice it has given and i have no choice but to except

it:(

despite the fact and just head there....

reached there(times square), walked and waited for hours @@

until i unable to walk and sat on a couch to keep waiting.

they reached at two something...

then straight head to sushi king for their sushi bonanza event. Most important is to

fill our stomach 1st because we have ate nothing back in the morning.

eat and eated plates of sushi and finally had enough of it.

one word.... satisfy!~~

after lunch its time for some sport ^^

went to play bowling and i score 80 marks although cq won at last

but so far i have play i have show improvement

from 13 mark to 34 and too 67 and to 80... haha

maybe if i keep playing i might can join for competition.

but i always keep something in mind

which is I THINK TOO MUCH.

in the middle of the game. i have send her a song... as a dating gift..

although its not much but as long as she like it then it will be fine for me :)

i love to see her smiling... when listen to the song she shock and laughed...

the look in her face i can still remember clearly till now..

with this i know i didn't waste my effort for staying up late just to find

out that song for her. <3

perhaps the smile she gave me is the best gift, the god grant me just to make up for the warrant letter :)

in that case if she everyday can laugh like that... warrant is nothing to me anymore just give me and i just wanted to see her laugh like what she did today... ^^

by the way the traffic today is very awful :'(

its not important anymore as long as i get to see her~ hehe

below here is the song ^^ enjoy~

today.

received her message this morning..

she woke me up but instead of angry i smiled :)

i love someone i care so much that will wake me up in the morning.

i just dunno why.

so i went to tell her about this but it doesn't seem that turns

out to be what i expected. she seems dislike it maybe she got her own

reason that i dunno. starting to realize im to stupid to try and find out.

im so dumb... im such dumb bastard.

day by day....

day and day has passed. somehow the day flew by not too fast and not too slow.

sigh* recently listening to the fm. they give some tips on caring, saying that no matter how busy you are... u must not neglect ur parent. i very agreed to what they say. so i always spend some of my time to listen to them its just feel so good :)

about me, im very good this few day.:) so glad.

but 1 thing feel very uneasy is my darling... i could never stop worry and caring for her even a single second or minute. Well she got a job and working everyday except saturday and sunday:/

its good that she found something to do rather than sitting at home and rot

but everyday see her working from morning till night and the voice she gave sound very worn and full of tiredness....

just listen to her voice my heart is like scratching with sand paper.

wanted to call her leave the job but once again i thought, if she like the job i will support her fully.

even though i might bear those pain alone. this is because if i dun support her who else will :)

seeing her happy, no matter what happen to me it doesn't matter anymore.

P.s recently she has just become alot more cuter i found that~~ :-*

keep the way u are darl.

tian tang

tian tang, as known as heaven.

where is this? i believe everyone want to find this place so much.

why they want to look for this so much? they believe this place will not

exist pain, sorrow, and unhappiness.

i believe i find my heaven already.

because of your existent i have found this heaven. :)

in this heaven i have found love, importance of certain stuff, and of course

it has unlimited happiness.

furthermore, u must know this heaven exist when there is you.

all i ever wanted just to stay with you even without doing anything or having anything. :)

she is the one.

after all that i have hide my feeling so well

that no other one can detect my real feeling..

suddenly she asked me whether im sad or not?

out of the blue... shock me awhile but i told the truth.

after the conversation, i notice i just cant sigh* anymore.

from this i always told myself. after the wrong decision i have made,

i finally made a right decision which is... loved her and missed her... everyday.

my worries~

what past has passed.

thought it has come to at end.

but its just my naive thought.

i thought and i thought and i thought.

soon i realize no matter i think how much

or how long or how much effort

i put into it i just cant figure it out.

looks like i still cant accept the fact.

its been so long why i still cant drop it.

looked at facebook for some picture

stated that how and what u can do when problem occur.

i wished that i could be like it which end with no worries...

but i know its just impossible.

every time i see their comment about ****** i would become mad instant.

my hearts cry so loud that it could just make me hang myself if i got a rope with me.

i feel so tired... really tired..

can please dun let me see what i try to avoid so much all this time?

please dun force me to carry out the step of no return.

i will shut the **** thing down. Please dun! please.

addition..

if u have read the past of my last blog.

i just want you to understand why am i doing so.

i have no intention of locking you.

my wish are simple. that post is just to tell you.. not complaining.

hope you understand me my darl~

my love is always with you. :)

it will never change.

bitters become bitterest...

after all that happen, thought things have return to normal.

who expect that something followed next. i know she wanted to sleep.

before she sleep, and i haven bath. so naturally she would call me go as usual

but i resisted by just wanted her to sleep 1st.

at the end its turns out to be complicated situation.

she says i feel like being locked by you.

this is the second time she told me this

and frankly i hate it so so so so MUCH! its really breaks my heart my mental.

the 1st time i would accept it because i felt i really over-ed but this time i really feel sad

i really cant accept this as the 2nd time. somehow i just cant find any reason to blame her.

i could never mad at her.....

the reason i wanted to do so is just because i want to wish her good night only. if i go to bath and she sleep that time i would have miss it. just for this simple reason this simple wish u conclude me as locking you? its really hurts so much when she say this. i mean nothing else. why are u saying this?. all i ever wanted is just wishing u good night everyday. is this too much? its becoming part of my life. are you don't like me doing this? i can stop if u want, just tell me, then i will understand.....

i really cant get it :(

but i wont blame you because.... i just knew i could'n do it.

so i will keep it to myself.

sorry if i stressed you.

sweet and bitter day.

2nd October 2011,

lovely day,

weather is so so.

today i have went to bukit tinggi jusco at klang.

meet her up at oldtown whitecoffee cafe, at 12 pm in the afternoon.

then walk around and finally bring her to what she been desired for...

to eat the "bak kut teh". there 4 of us. seems very sweet at the moment.

but what follow next is bitter part.

After lunch, plan what to do next. we plan to watch movie so we went back

to jusco. when we was there i line up is like half way there and she say

i dun feel like watching. i dunno why but i just cant suppress my feeling anymore

so i showed an annoyed face out of sudden.

she have it as well but she apologize 1st.

of course followed by me. things seem normal back then.

well if she say she wan head home straight i would

agreed after all i care for her so much and i known she been very tired at that time.

then i would not made a ruckus by this little thing.

after dropping her at the lrt station, and went home straight

on the way home try to give her a call but turn up no answering.

called and call again still no answer.

my heart started to hang up whether is she really still angry for what i did?

at the end sended her a message begging her to answered and make a final call

and she only answered. never expect it turn out to be she fall asleep in the train...

scared me like hell..

pls dun let this happen again...

i will die wan.