aiyo....

without any notice... i have bear this imsonia almost for a month.

until now i haven find out what really cause me to be unable to sleep.

do i really need to get some pill for me to sleep?

is it possible i wont be able to get any sleep until the end of this semester.

but its week 2 right now i still have 12 week bear.

when it could be only end.

yesterday, which is wednesday.

i have a marathon class from 2-5pm in a day.

the class was boring... until i can fall asleep with my eyes open.

until lecture class break i finally can take a nap for 5 min.

after this 5 min i feel like just continue to sleep until class end but somethings

come in mind. i dream of her, then i think if i sleep now i will fail my paper.

i instant awake and continue study.

then under the circumstance of just awake.

i saw someone back really looks like her.

i panic for quite awhile but think again its just an illusion.

i must not fail in this semester just for her and for me.:)

i dun belong pj anymore. i belong to setapak....

wait for me... my darling.

我真的希望你在我身旁，我很想你。

26 / 8/ 10 / 32

this few number has somehow taken a important place deep in my heart.

today is 26th september.

felt like every repeat of this number always will encourage me to take another step forward.

why i say so?

because last month, on this day, 26th august. i proposed.

In a blink of eyes it has passed one month.

but this month i didn do much but i get to explore someplace.

its scary back then because after all im driving alone towards city center

which if i am being look from above the sky, i may just look like an ant trying to go through and explore, meanwhile trying to reach the place we have plan to meet.

took me a night to overcome my fear. :)

at the end, i able to made it through. so glad :)

and of course i made it back home as well.

now that bts is nothing to me anymore because i has been there once and it will never be a foreign place to me anymore .:)

finally what i really enjoy for this time is during the time with her. i believe it will never change.

but there something we miss out, such a waste.

boring day :(

slept at 2 woke up at 7 something and roll on the bed till 12. Zzzz

but glad that i have some sleep this time.:)

called her as soon as i woke up, i know she will be busy for the whole day, yesterday.

all i could do is wait. i wait and i waited.

then i realised actually every life, every person was destined to wait.

some waited for something, waiting for live, waiting to die, and so forth.

then question came what am i waiting for?

i answered, waiting for her to come home safely.

bao bei

today stay at home whole day.... starting to recall some sweet moment of us^^
u asked me before, why i get fond of you so much?
i answered i like everything of you..
you may thought i'm kidding but i really mean it. :)

as time goes by, u get thinner, so i call you to eat more.
then u replied no i scare i will be fat.
later on, i started a joke but i dun mean it at all
i dunno whether you still remember about it and
are you affected by it or not?
but i hope its not.

telling u so much about all this is because
i wanted you to know i like u not because of your physical look.
no matter u become how your looks like fat or thin? i will always love you.. <3
okay? :)

when i see you, your appearance just look thinner every time.
when u getting thinner every day, i feel like being struck by lightning
to my heart...
so please be healthy when i not around....
if u grew meat.. at least i know u are healthy.
otherwise.... :( i just become more sad.

P.s. dun be afraid of troubling me. i will always standby for you always :) so if there anything please find me. i be awake for you no matter what time....
Love ya :-* <3

start of another day,

morning~
as it turn out to be i have woke up early as usual.
oh gosh, im getting used to it. since it wanted me to wake up so
early, fine lets be it.

somehow, i feel much more happier today.
although im still not able to dream of something as well these few day
a dream without a dream is terrible. Zzz

if people say a dream may forecast a person's future.
then i wonder where is my future? did my future just gone like that?
or its telling me to create my own future. if that the case i would really like to
create it along with her. :) <3

today..

history has repeated itself once again....
i woke up in a time that i would normally sleeping like a dying person.
what the hell is wrong with me?
GOD!~ for my sake please grant me to have enough sleep, can u?

every day thought that when i sleep late or overwork till i faint
will force me to have enough sleep.. but result just turn out as they use to be.
WALAOEH!!!!

yesterday night, while chatting with my bao bei, i fall asleep at the end.
or it can rather say this way that i have been black out...
woke up at 730 in the morning as i able to recall i fall asleep at 230 midnight.
haiz.
but later on i found that it is not important that i able to sleep or not.
but the whole morning i been wondering if she is waiting my reply that time.

i feel so guilty. :(
sended a message to her to apologize but receive a message from maxis
telling me message is not send due to his/her phone has switch off.
its make me even more panic and guilty is she mad at me for going off
never telling good bye? i dun wish it happen that way dear.

i promise u there would be no next time. please forgive me if u are mad ok?
give me a call if u saw this...

recently.

its been five day and 4 night since i have back from the trip as i mention before.
i have never been able to get back my appetite to eat, play and sleep well from the day i returned. it is so frustrating.
i hope it will become normal very soon. :(

well, today is consider a good day for me after this few day i have gone through. why eh? maybe
is because i get see her. :) she really brighten up my day every time. <3 we have gone for a movie. nasi lemak 2.0. its a good show. humorous, comedy and alot more. during the movie when she sitting beside me, holding up my hand. i feel energetic :) sound like funny but it is true that i'm like a battery that run out of energy and needs to be recharge. haha. i just love her so much.

 although it may not last long, that i have to send her to lrt station after the movie so that she could go home.;( but the time when i with her i never forget every second for the moment i with her. i just treasure it so much. quite depressing when she leave but i realize something on the way home. i don't know whether is she brings me luck or happiness? i feel the traffic were so smooth. normally would jam an hour at that time. with this, i able to travel back to my home safely and soundly. after bath, sitting in front of my laptop. i saw my ring that i abandoned long time ago and i start wearing back. i will take this ring as a reminder to work hard and back to her side as soon in this 3 month.

this is how it look like~:)

P.S. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE AND MISS YOU MY DARLING.... <3

qin ai de.

qin ai de today the 1st day start class at campus. i saw a lot of ur shadow, our memories. once again tears is almost flew out edi. is it that i miss u too much until i saw every people i can see ur face on them.. haiz.

i feel so weak darling. can teach me what to do? today the 1st day i already miss you like that. what to say about 3 month. WAKAO~

music...

music. today listened quite a lot of songs. music are such amazing.
people say, when words is not enough to speak out something in ur heart, music will help u speak out. other than this, i found that music not only can do that. it can brings out a person internal feeling from deep below their heart, memories, and mind too. today on the way home, i listened a song played by one fm. the song name is 'meiyou ni zenme ban' in english is what should i do if without u.



at 1st when i listening my tears almost flew out of no reason.
but i surpressed it because i were driving....
then when i home i found back this song and i saw the music video and finally realised
why i got the feeling to cry.:( i wonder would i be able to survive if i leave home.

dad~

do you know something? your words are important to me.
but sometime ur words is just too harsh as well. :(
yes i understand u mean good to me. but can u leave
some space for me to repent. i always try to do as how u wish.. but sometime
its just will not work the way it plan to be....:(

time to pay the price.

its less than 24 hour to begin my suffer once again.
before this campus was fun. some of it says that its hell.
and i just say why hell? subject is easy..
at the end get scolded without knowing the reason.

but now i realize, it is~ a HELL.
i felt grudge, hatred, angry, and sad towards the damn place. can someone just kill me?
but think of her i will not give up so easily.
i must think that its fun. manipulate my fear and anger into the final subject and give it a final blow and then i will never back to the campus once more. i swear on it.

god if u can hear me. i never ask you things always.. so please grant me this wish. i wanted the following three months pass in a blink of eye pls.
so that i can be together with her real soon. thx god and pls bless her thats all i asked.

semester 4 breaks

semester 4 break. i manage to host a small group to go on vacation to genting.
2d 1n. its seems short but its long in my heart.

this trip. i see a lot of things. things from her.
i get to see her sleepy faces.
somehow i feel very warm when she around. :)
especially there's a time she hold my hand when i sleeping. i feel that
and so do i hold back. with that warm hands of her. i realizes that problem are means nothing anymore to me.

during sleeping. i have say i love u so much. although she cant listened. <3
but i hope she feel it.

the 1st date..

thinks back its just so sweet.
the place it midvalley. i dun really like that place until this.
love is so amazing that it make me change 36o degrees and get fond of that place..

at there, we walk around holding hands, joke around, and of course the 1st movie we watch together.. fd 5!! its suppose to be horror but i find it funny instead. hahahah
watching her got scare i will laugh automatically.

soon after that i have to send her back already. feel heavy to let go her hands from me..

26th of august

this number have become very important date to me starting this year.
this date carries a lot memories i shall never ever forget.
this date i propose to her and she become my girlfriend <3. this date i pick so randomly that in the next 2 month and the same 26 is her birthday date..
i recognize it a few day later..

talk about it, i have to prepare for it soon. it has to be unique and different from others. this matter stretch my head for quite a time but i think i have the idea already. :) all that i hope now is she will like it. heheh. Give u all a little hints.
the gift will be using the concept of.... ' a tiny little present, but give infinity value to her and me'. XD
exactly what is it. stay follow to reveal.. heheh

the 1st after the renewal of my past blog

Its been a year long, i have not written any post.
many things have changes. There are good and bad of course.
greatest is i got myself into relationship. This is the best sweet thing ever happen in my life and i swear on it. For her i willing to go so far even i myself unable to believe what i have done... i just love her so much. hehe ^^
She is my 1st and she will be the only one in my life, if she willing to be.:)

other than this, so long in my life i have been living in.
I never regret before in making any choice.
but this time i done a great one, a real great one. consequence of this, it brings me pain, sadness and uncertain that is so great that unable me to hold tears.
although its just 3 month i have to pay the price. Somehow i always feel this 3 month is like 3 season long for me. :(

hope it goes faster~